I'm back. Word constipation has been a challenge since early December but hopefully this post will get things moving again. Lately, I've thought a lot about new beginnings. This morning, it occurred to me that instead of trying so hard "to fix" things, perhaps I should focus on just starting over. Throw in the towel and know when it's time to say "Enough!" As a teacher but even moreso as a human being, I yearn to be able to look a difficulty in the face and see the growth right there and then that I hope is happening as a result of me facing the obstacle. Alas, that doesn't usually happen. It's usually on the other end that I can look back and say, yes, that was a hard time, but I grew as a result. I guess with the harbingers of spring lately and spring break, I'm ready for rebirth and new life. To say I've lost my English teaching mojo the past five months is putting it mildly. I've found it impossible to focus on reading and writing. I've not even been able to read for pleasure much less read student papers and do much beyond the day-to-day absolute necessity. In short, the path I've walked these last months has been very hard. My mother was diaganosed with cancer last December on my 41st birthday, but even though it was initially very overwhelming, I never would have predicted that news would have impacted my teaching the way it has. I've been stuck and getting further and further behind, but this morning, I decided I will not go back and try to cover all the ground. Don't get me wrong: I'm not a quitter, but sometimes, I think the best thing is to realize the current race you're lagging behind is not the race you're supposed to be in at that point. Time to find a new race. This path I've been on is coming to an end. So, I'm ready for a new beginning. I learn from the past, but I am ready to face the future. What the future holds, I don't know. But this I do know: the new path will be full of more challenges and adventures.
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